What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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