Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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