i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
