I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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