cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
