ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
