I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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