btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
