i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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