So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
