you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You are a genius and a whore.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
