I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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