Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
