I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
