I'm so fucking centered right now
I am puke
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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