My nipple is on Facebook.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
