I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
