kristin has been a bad kristin
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I could make wine with my vomit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
