the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
