if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
