No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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