I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
