I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
