physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
