happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
