I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
