We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
