Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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