Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
