think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
