please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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