Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
