so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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