This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
