Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
