OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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