if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So. Much. Porn.
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