just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I AM VODKA MAN
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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