you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
