If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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