I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
