Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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