i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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