I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
