Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
