Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
