If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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