It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
