you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
