Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
